Right. It's been a while, I'm sorry for the delay, but life has to be lived, you know, before it can be written about. I think I'll avoid the small stuff and spend this post on my walk to Dyrham Park on Friday, March 16th. It was me and six friends, and we decided that the 8 mile hike from Bath to Dyrham was completely within our abilities, and that the manor house and grounds at Dyrham would be a really cool destination. We ignored the fact that every British person we told our plan to looked at us like we were crazy. With typical American bombastic-ism, we figured England was just full of wimps.
The walk is along the Cotswolds way, sort of the British answer to the Appalachian Trail. It spans much of England, so what we were hiking would only be a small portion. We set off joyful and optimistic, and about 2 hours in, we figured we were getting close. Then we came to realize, slowly but surely, that what we had thought was 8 miles was in fact much much more. Try 14 miles (some of my friends thought it was at least 15, but I wasn't so sure). Still, we soldiered on, admiring the entrances to Narnia and fairyland, which were plentiful. We were getting tired, but we sang about making men out of people, and about hills that were alive with various sounds, and we kept our spirits up. It really was a beautiful day, and it wasn't too difficult to have fun, even as our legs began to ache. Our tummies started rumbling, and as we approached civilization for the first time in hours we were desperate for a pub. Our minds were filled with tea and cakes, fish and chips, and scones with clotted cream. What we got was a shell station, with chicken sandwiches, chocolate donuts, and candy bars. It was the best gas station food I have ever eaten. We moved on from the gas station, satiated and believing that finally we were approaching our goal. After another 30 minutes, we finally reached Dyrham Park. The cheer that went up as we came over the rise and sighted the manor would bring tears to the most hardened of hearts.
We happened to arrive at the back entrance, so we ended up not having to pay, which was, I gotta say, pretty great. It seemed like someone up there was apologizing for making us come all of this way over hills and through woods. However, our saga had not quite ended, and whatever deity was overseeing our excursion had not finished messing with us. Since we had already walked for 5 hours, the original plan, walking back, was definitely out of the question. Well now what? We'll take a bus. Where can we catch a bus back to Bath? Nowhere, you'll have to walk. Are you serious? Yes. Well alright, no bus then. We begin to get desperate. Imagine, if you will, a plea for mercy: Gift shop lady, can you please give us the number for a taxi service? We really need to get home somehow that doesn't involve our feet. Yes, of course, one moment. We call a taxi, and it is on our way to pick us up. We are delivered! But wait. Where will we meet this taxi? Well, by the main entrance of course. Right. We came in the back. Where exactly is the main entrance? Well you have to take the shuttle up to the main gate and wait there. So, at the main gate we explain our predicament. The main gate is kept padlocked, but if the taxi is really meeting you there, then I will unlock it for a moment so you can get to the other side, and I will lock it again behind you. The padlock won't unlock. So, where are we going to meet our taxi now? Guy with key, please help us! He calls the taxi service and tells them to meet us at the back gate. That's where we came in. So, two shuttle rides later, exactly where we started, hallelujah the taxi is waiting for us. Getting into that taxi was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The end. Now look back at the title and get the reference and see how clever I am.
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